


Wade Wilson meets the arachnid reptilian duo.

by TessaVance



Series: Zima-Stark Pack [10]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mute Peter Parker, Pack Bonding, Puppy Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29545167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaVance/pseuds/TessaVance
Summary: In a short Period of time Wade meets the following1) Some cute puppies2) An adorable Teen called Baby Boy3) A Goth who is mated to Baby Boy4) SpidermanAnd 5) A really, really fucking big Snake.Cause yeah, that's totally normal right?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Jormungand/Peter Parker
Series: Zima-Stark Pack [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026355
Comments: 32
Kudos: 132
Collections: Numerous OTPS Infinite Fandoms





	Wade Wilson meets the arachnid reptilian duo.

Wadewas out for a walk sans suit. It was in the wash and he was sick of been stuck inside waiting for it to be clean. He wasn't totally irresponsible he had his hoodie up, so he didn’t scary the nice old ladies out of their granny panties as he passed them by. 

He was strolling along the outside of Central Park when the sounds of a large gathering reached his ears. Shrugging as he had nothing better to do, Wade changed his direction slightly and heading into the park to see what all the hullabaloo was about. 

A fair had sprung up and was attracting quiet a crowd. Wade avoided the stall for the moment. He would scour them for a hello Kittie purse on his way back. He was far more interested in what his nose was telling him was the aroma of straw and animals. 

“OOOO a petting zoo,” He said happily, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Pushing through the last group of mum and pop families, Wade was greeted with the cheerful sight of straw bales forming temporary enclosures that had adorable baby animals in them. They manned each enclosure with at least one adult who was monitoring all the kids with the animals and regulating who got to go in next. 

Wade gamely joined the end of the line for one of the bigger enclosers. His chances of getting in were fifty /fifty. Sixty / forty if he could get a hold of himself long enough to play the “I’m disabled and just want to touch something loving and soft before I die” card. 

The sound of a soft whine reached his ears and turning his head he saw in the smallest enclosure two little puppy's head poking above the straw watching all the kids mill around with a hopeful expression on their tiny faces. Watched over by a lone teen who was biting his lip, watching the crowd anxiously. 

A little boy caught sight of them, and giggling made his way towards them. Both puppies’ tails started wagging like mad, getting fast and fast the closer the little boy came. The boy’s mother looked around and found her runaway offspring, she smiled fondly. She walked behind the child, helping him head towards the straw wall, then abruptly stopped once she got sight of the puppies. 

The mother picked her child up and about turned, hurrying off in the opposite direction. Both the puppies and teen face fell. Wade didn’t get where she was coming from yeah, they were the oddest-looking puppies he had ever seen but it wasn’t like they were ugly or anything, just different. 

When faced with two upset doggy faces, Wade did what any self-respecting murder/ mercenary would do. 

“Puppies!” He squealed loudly, raising both hands to his cheeks and sighing dramatically. “Oh, my gosh! They are soooooooooooo cute.” He then jumped out of the cue, losing his spot to run over to the straw wall. “Oooo you are just balls of fluff, and I could just eat you up,” He gushed. 

Both puppies looked up at him in shock, then the blond one gave a single tic toc of his tail. 

“Look at your little nosy wosies. Black as a button they are,” Wade smiled keeping his tone friendly and offered his hand to the pups letting them get a good sniff of his scent. 

“And look at these paws, your little toe beans. So pretty and pink.” 

Once both Puppies had sniffed every inch of his glove, they looked up at him again, the golden puppy tail wagging, the silver and black one giving his gloved fingers a little lick. 

“Aww, giving me kisses, aren’t you good doggies, yes you are, you’re the best little doggies in the world.” 

Raising his head a little, Wade saw the teen beaming at him. He blinked in shock there was no way the boy could have missed seeing the smashed avocado mess that was his face but the teen’s smile didn’t dim in the slightest. Instead, he beckoned Wade to step across the straw bale and sit in the enclosure with the puppies. Wade, who had never had a whole encloser to himself before, scrambled across before the teen could change his mind. He knew he wouldn’t get long before the teen kicked him out, but that was cool. The fact he got to come in in the first place was awesome. The second he sat down the puppies were all over him like white on rice, scrambling up and down his torso fearlessly and covering his faces in wet slobbery puppy kisses. 

This was why animals were so much better than humans. They couldn’t give a flying fuck what Wade looked like, so long as he kept giving them head pat and tummy rubs. He was bloody glad he was both dextrose and had fine motor control because the puppies never wanted the same thing at the same time. At one stage one puppy got a bit too enthusiastic and knocked Wade’s hoodie off, exposing his deformed head to the innocent public. Wade hastily whipped it back up again, but there were no outcries of disgust, no pitch forks or torches been lit. 

The dam teen who couldn’t have missed that if his life depended on it was still beaming at Wade. Like he was a superhero, an Avenger or on team Ironman. Instead of some fuck up dude patting some frankly adorable puppies. _Maybe he was blind? Or did the world’s longest blink just when my hood fell._ Wade snorted, he was fate’s bitch. No way would she be that nice to him. Especially since the Teen was a cutie too. Big brown eyes and a shaggy mop of hair on a face that despite almost being an adult was still radiating innocent and goodness. 

“What are their names?” Wade asked, trying to move everyone of past the traumatic experience of seeing the naked mole rat version of his head with no covering. The Teen pointed at the sign to the side of the enclosure. Wade had to crane his head a bit in order to read it from his position glued to the ground where both Puppies had pinned him. 

“Hati and Sköll?” Wade read aloud. Both puppies assumed Wade wanted them even closer, and they launched themselves at him. They were stronger than they looked, for their combined weight pushed him onto his back. Arms flaying in the air, Wade went with the surprised attack. 

Once down on the ground, the puppies gave no mercy, licking every inch of his face they could get. 

“Arrggg,” Wade spluttered “That was my eyeball, ewww teeny tiny tongue up my noise.” he heard a puppy sniffing near the side of his head then. “Errggg, wet willy, that a wet willy! Help, help, get off” Wade’s voice rose, becoming high pitched. This only encouraged the puppies, who yapped excitedly and dove in to lick in his ear again since it had produced such a wonderful sound. Small claws were leaving scratches all over his face as the puppies stampeded all over his head. Wade had both his eyes screwed shut as he was in real danger of losing one to a careless paw. Not that he made any effort to stop the puppies. He would always grow the eye back, but opportunities to play with some sweet loving puppies did not come around on Wade's schedule that often. 

The weight of one puppy suddenly left him, and there was the sound of fingers clicking. Opening his eyes, Wade watched as the ten clicked his fingers again, getting the puppy's attention. Then he signed at them. 

<Stop, remember what we talked about. If you want the nice man to play with you, then you have to be nice too. > Both puppies wagged their tails in agreement. 

<Oh wow, they are so smart,> Wade signed. The teen’s eyes brighten even further, something Wade didn’t think was possible. The boy must have an internal light source. 

<You know sign language?>

<I do Baby Boy, it was totally not kosher of me to force you to lipread.>

Wade was pleasantly surprised when the teen cheek heated at the nickname that had just slipped out. It had been unintentional but if it got this reaction Wade would keep using it. 

<I’m mute, not deaf> Baby Boy signed shyly. <You can talk if you want.>

<What? And ruining the fun of having a secret language that no one else knows?>

<It’s not really secret if my whole pack knows it,>

<It is if no other members of your pack are here.> Wade signed then hastily went back to patting the puppies as he had been doing in-between talking. Baby Boy looked behind him to the tree line, following his direction Wade saw an older Goth teen watching their every move with sharp green eyes. They impressed Wade, the teen had been so still that even his impressive senses hadn’t pick up on him. 

<Oh No,> Wade raised an arm to his head, dramatically swaying. <Does that mean Tall Dark and Grumpy knows exactly what I am saying?>

Baby Boy clapped a hand over his mouth to keep the laughter in nodding his head. Eyes dancing with mirth. Goth Boy cocked an eyebrow, then lazily gave Wade his middle finger, clearly not bothered by him at all. 

On the one hand, Goth Boy was a shitty look out if he dismissed Wade as a threat. But on the other hand, Wade was pleased it meant he could stay here with these unnaturally friendly people. Like seriously, these people were all smiles and welcome, and filled with puppy kisses and come on now, what was wrong with them. No one acted like this around Wade, even when he wasn’t in his Deadpool costume. And for good reason. He knew his own faults; he was a crazy mercenary who unalive people for money and he enjoyed his job. 

<Are you guys aliens? Cause Aliens are real now, came out of the sky to butt probe us all on national tv. So, you can’t say I’m crazy. Well, at least not about this particular incident. Anyway, are you? Alien that is?>

Baby Boy blinked cocking his head then asked 

<Why would you ask that?>

<Because only aliens would be this nice and friendly to a smashed-up face like mine.>

Baby Boy bit his lip then replied. 

<I am not an Alien.>

Wade could tell there was a punchline to this that he was missing. But he couldn’t see how that statement could be taken any other way. Just then his phone pumped out the delightful tones of Beyonce. 

“Hello?” Wade answered it. Looking apologetically at Baby Boy, who waved away his rudeness. 

“Yes, but I’m busy...” 

“Very busy with important stuff......” 

“Look Weasel patting puppies may be low on your list, but it’s one of the highest things on mine...” 

“Noooooooooo, I don’t want to.....” 

“Fine, I’ll be there soon.” 

Wade hung up and looked sadly down at the puppies curled up in his lap, blinking their sweet little eyes up at him. He ran his hand all over them gushing his farewells 

“Bye, my little balls of cuteness. You adorable puppies. With your waggy tails, yes, look how waggy they are. I’m going to miss seeing your sweet little face, yes, I am. Yes, your face, and your face.” Both puppies leapt up, covering him in more doggy kisses before Wade reluctantly stood up and stepped over the straw wall. 

<Bye Baby Boy, thanks for letting me play with the puppies>

Baby Boy blushed again but signed back. <Thank you for coming across.>

<Anytime,> Wade shifted slightly then looking at the Goth <Bye, bye, Tall Dark and Grumpy!>

Goth Boy’s lips twitched then he went back to ignoring him scanning the surrounding. Giving one last smooch to the puppies, Wade reluctantly left and headed back to St Margarets. 

* * *

“Oi Penis,“ 

Peter let out a soundless sigh as Flash came up to him in the hallways of the high school and begun his daily splurge of bulling. Midway through a taunt, Flash abruptly stopped. Looking up, he could see him staring at Peter’s hands. With a gentle grasp, Flash lifted one, looking at the fluoro pink nail polish. Peter straightened, he was not ashamed of wearing it, and he would gladly take whatever Flash dealt out. The support for Loki was more important. 

“Why are your nails pink?” Flash asked in a normal voice. 

Gaping Peter pulled his hand free and quickly signed an explanation. An annoyed frown crossed Flash’s face, and he took hold of Peter’s hand again once he stopped. 

“What did he say?” He snapped at Ned. 

“Oh,” Ned squeaked, then hurriedly answered, not wanting to draw Flash’s ire onto himself. “Um, he is doing it to show support for his genderfluid Pack mate.” 

“Huh,” Flash continued to hold Peter’s hand and look down at the nails. This continued for a couple of minutes. Peter looked at Ned in confusion only to be greeted with Ned’s helpless shrug he did not know what was going on either. 

Flash dropped his hand and then went back to his taunting. Since he didn’t bring up Peter’s pink nails, Peter shrugged it off and forgot about the incident altogether until a week later. 

He arrived at school to find most of the students milling around outside and a couple of booths set up with snaking lines leading to them. Curious, he wandered closer. He found Flash with his back to the crowd facing a cameraman and a tv reporter. 

“So, I decided I would organise for members of my school to get their nails painted pink,” Flash was saying in his most pretentious goody two shoes voice. “To show our support for all the LGBTQ teens out there.” He proudly thrust his hands in front of the camera, the pink nail polish gleaming in the sunlight. “All money raised is going to be donated to the local YMCA. I encourage everyone to join the movement, get your nails done in pink, make a donation to the YMCA and take a selfie use the #PinkSupport. And follow me on twitter.” 

The reporter gave Flash a professional smile, then turned to the camera and started his spill. 

Peter turned away. He wasn’t interest in the news, and they would force him to watch it later, anyway. But what he was interested in seeing if the students would do it. Everywhere he looked he saw pink nails. As per usual, whenever Flash suggests an idea, the rest of the school followed it. Including the teachers, it seemed. 

It was petty, but Peter was slightly smug to see his nails looked so much better than the cheap stuff the rest of the school was wearing. Scolding himself for his less than charitable thought, Peter dug into his pocket and pulled out a $50 dollar note he squeezed past a couple of girls and quietly placed it in the donation box. 

He couldn’t really be that annoyed. Flash had taken what he had done and made it into something so much bigger and truthfully more impressive. And if it helped others, then Peter was all for it. 

* * *

Deadpool was having the time of his life. 

It was another world ended event; they seemed to come around pretty often in fact, Wade wondered in the back of his mind if it was like a sign from the universe. Like was the cosmos trying to tell the humans something, and they were just too stubborn and dumb to listen? If so, then Wade was all for the human stupidity. 

Guns smoking Deadpool happily shot down another.....thing. Ok yes that wasn’t very cool of him calling it, it and thing. But Deadpool hadn’t been able to communicate with them and find out how they preferred to be addressed. The gelatinous bobs that leaked corrosive acid everywhere had intelligence, but the longer he observed them the more Deadpool though it was more a hive intelligence than an individual. 

Seeing how they flew...floated...hovered.... whatever moved through the sky, Deadpool was standing on a convenient rooftop and happily taking sniper shots at them. Bullets hurt them, but it took a hell of a lot of them to bring these suckers down. Unsheathing his beloved Bea and Arthur, he ran yodelling like Tarzan to the edge of the rook and jumped, slashing his Katana through a blob then tucking and rolling as he hit the next rooftop. 

“Woo, that was fun, let’s do it again.” 

He sprang to his feet expecting the blob to come at him only to see there were none in his immediate vicinity. 

“Huh?” Walking to the edge, Deadpool looked down and saw the two halves of the blob slowly shrivelling up and drying out until they were nothing but a dry husk. “So, blades not bullets,” Deadpool muttered. 

The rest of the hero’s defending the city needed to know this. Deadpool sighed. 

“And this, Captain America is why I need an earpiece connected to the rest of you guys,” well no hope for it he would just have to go searching for either the Avengers or Team Ironman. 

After twenty minutes of joyfully cutting down every Blob he came across, Deadpool spotted Hawkeye furiously shooting the invaders from his nest halfway up a building. 

“Man, that is totally going to suck to get to,” Deadpool grumbled, but none the less set out. 

“How... the… hell.... do...you...get...into...these...things?” Deadpool gasped as he heaved himself up and over the last ledge to collapse at Hawkeye’s feet. 

“What do you want Deadpool?” Hawkeye snapped, not looking at him. 

“Rude,” Deadpool sung out. “I climbed all the way up here to your nest to be a good citizen of this city and do my civic duty by passing on important information.” 

Hawkeye sighed, aggravated. “What information,” 

“Well, maybe I won’t tell you if you are going to ask me in that tone of voice,” 

“Deadpool!” Hawkeye snapped. “What information!” 

Deadpool crossed his arms and replied in a sulky voice. “I don’t like you; I’m only telling you because I like Captain America.” 

Another aggravated sigh 

“The blob’s weakness is blades, not bullets.” 

Hawkeye paused and spoke into his coms. There was silence, then Deadpool’s hearing picked up the tinny confirmation coming through. 

“Right, that was my good deed for the month, I’m off.” Deadpool called out, then leapt from the nest before he would be forced to listen to Hawkeyes fake gratitude. He had better things to do. The only time he wanted to listen to fake gratitude is if Capitan America gave it to him. 

On his way back to his part of the city, Deadpool caught sight of his favourite Hero, swinging through the air. He had totally been an Avengers, # Team Cap, man all the way until Team Ironman added their newest member. Spiderman. 

Spiderman only fought in some battle. He was still too new to fight in all of them, but holy hell man. Deadpool had total heart eyes every time he saw him. The Webspinner was so awesome, had incredible moves and a tight little bubble butt even better than Captain America’s. 

So, it made total sense why Deadpool witnessed the accident. He had stopped to watch his personal hero in action and was the only one who saw one blob get caught on the web the spider was using to fling himself around with. The blob slid down the wed and engulfed Spidey’s arm. The acid ate through the web and the red and blue figure dropped like a stone. 

Deadpool looked wildly around, expecting to see Ironman or Hulk suddenly appear and rescue Spiderman. But nothing happened. 

“Alright, fine, so I’ll do two good deeds this month.” 

By the time he got to where Spiderman had dropped, Webs had dislodged the blob from his hand but was writhing on the floor. It looked like the fall broke both his legs. What was worse, six blobs were converging on his prone form. 

Letting out a battle yell that he had been practising on, Deadpool charged into the alleyway and slaughtered the blobs with extreme vengeance. Once all his foes were defeated, Deadpool turned to see if Spiderman had seen just how awesome he was. But the hero was still lying on the floor, head tossing and turning, and didn’t look in a good way at all. 

Deadpool didn’t even remember making the decision, he just swept in and scooped up Spiderman carrying him bride style. By lucky coincidence he had a Safehouse near here and even better it was one of the ones that he had stocked with medical supplies. There was no way he could take Spiderman to a hospital, his secret identity would be blown if two seconds flat if he did. 

Laying the hero down on the bed, Deadpool's eyes widen when he saw the red burn mark extending under his mask. Dammit, two second with his number one and he had to break the hero code. Deadpool knew what it was like to have your face eaten away by acid and it was really, really not good. Bad enough that it totally was worth blowing your secret cover. He carefully removed the mask, then gasped in shock. 

“Baby Boy?” The teen’s face half covered in burn marks and his eyes were screwed closed. But as Deadpool watched, the burns marks were healing. Not as fast as him, but definitely faster than the average joe. 

“Where the fuck are your parents?” Deadpool snapped. 

The teen never opened his eyes, but he relaxed at the sound of his voice. Which meant he recognised and remembered Wade’s voice. And for some stupid fucked up reason thought that meant safely. If the sound of his voice helped the teen feel a little better than he had come to the right place. They didn’t call him the Merc with a mouth for nothing after all. 

“Like Seriously, do you parents know you are gallivanting around the city in spandex?” 

Baby Boy gave a single nod, his face still screwed up. 

“Well, that is just fucked, let me tell you.” Deadpool replied. “Alright Baby Boy I’m going to have to touch your legs, if your healing is as fast as it seems you don’t want your bones to fuse together crooked.” 

Baby Boy gave a nod. And Deadpool carefully trailed his hand down the left leg, feeling for where the break was. Placing his hand above and below the break Deadpool said. “Alright, I’m going to set it on the count of three, ready? One... two.” at two he gave a sudden violent pull, resetting the bone. 

Baby Boy screamed, flashing some impressive choppers. If there was any doubt before that he wasn’t your run-of-the-mill teen, they were well and truly gone now. A second later, Deadpool was flung off the bed by an electrical current. 

“Fuck me side wise,” Deadpool gasped that had hurt! The damm suit had attacked him. 

“Peter, I am sensing a sudden rise in your pain levels. I have activated the suit’s defence system. Do you need assistance?” Baby Boy’s suit suddenly spoke up in a professional female voice. 

“Holy bejuese it talks too?” 

Baby Boy, or Peter as Deadpool now knew him to be, made a short clicking chittering sound. It meant nothing to Deadpool, but apparently made sense to his costume lady. 

“Very well, I have updated your new location with J.A.R.V.I.S, he is rerouting Jör now.” the lady said. 

“Um, suit lady?” Deadpool asked. 

“My designation is KAREN. How may I be of assistance?” 

“Just letting you know I still have to set Baby Boy, I mean Peters other leg, so expect more pain. And please don’t fry me.” 

There was a pause while they deliberated on this request, then Karen replied. “It is a sensible to reset the leg now before it heals, I won’t shock you.” 

Gingerly, Deadpool got up from his spot on the floor and sat down on the other side of Baby Boy. Doing the same thing as last time, he talked the entire time, letting Peter know exactly what was going on. It impressed him that Baby boy didn’t scream the second time, just grunted. 

“Alright, you’re all done. I’m just going to splint these to hold then in place until you heal them.” Deadpool splinted and wrapped both of Baby boy’s lower legs. By now his face had healed enough he could open his eyes, and he was watching Deadpool with blurry look. 

The same as before, the sight of a masked mercenary with weapons strapped all over his body didn’t seem to faze the teen at all. 

“Baby Boy, while I am totally taking advantage of the fact, I have to let you know that your danger sense it totally warped.” 

He only received big brown eyes blinking slowly at him for that statement. 

Deadpool opened his mouth to give the teen the lecture on stranger danger that Baby Boy’s parents had obviously failed to give, only to feel something side over his foot. He looked down. 

“ARGGGGGG!” he shrieked, jumping up into the air and clinging to the light socket in the ceiling like a startled cat. He kept all his limbs as far off the ground as he possibly could. The snake that entered the room was bloody a meter wide with a head that was big enough to swallow Deadpool whole, to say nothing of the length of him. The body just kept coming and coming and fuck me coming and “Bloody hell, just how fucking big is this thing?” 

“Suit Lady,” Deadpool called, still clinging to the light socket. “Quick, shock the monster,” Yes ok it was cowardly of him, and look he would have thrown himself into the fray had the dam enormous serpent made any motion that it was going to eat Baby Boy but it hadn’t so there was no reason Deadpool couldn’t step back and let someone else deal with it. He had no desire to find out what it felt like to be digested by a snake. 

“I don’t detect any hostiles in the immediate area,” Karen replied, then continued. “Peter, Jör is here.” 

Baby Boy made another clicking noise and reach out with his arms. The serpent rose and nuzzled its head along Peter's uninjured cheek before hissing soothingly as it checked all the injuries. Baby Boy had his arms wrapped as far as they could go around the snake’s neck and he chittered quietly. 

“O.M.G, are you talking in parseltongue,” Deadpool squealed excitedly.

The serpent turned at gave him a look of such disdain he could feel all his manliness wilting under it. Hell, even his katanas Bea and Arthur wilted. Figuring that still clinging to the lightbulb wasn’t helping his cause any Deadpool took a leap of faith and dropped back to the ground. Being extremely careful not to step on any part of the serpent, that was spread out over most of the floor. 

“Ok, so it looks like you have things well in hand, well in scale since you obviously don’t have any hands, that was a stupidly insensitive thing to say now I hear it out loud. My bad, I’ll be sure to be more considerate in the future cause look I might unalive people but I still have like manners and shit and I hate the discrimination people carelessly fling around. Anyway, I’m going to go now, leave you guys alone.....” 

The serpent rose from Peter’s side and gave him an annoyed hiss before wrapping its body around Deadpool’s chest once and dragging him over to the bed, pushing him down. 

“Ok then I’m going to stay. And oh wow, right so I am getting under the blankets and yes, yes alright I making sure Baby Boy is under them and tucked up tight as well, and you want me to get closer? Why do you want me to get closer? Oh, gees Baby Boy, your kinda cold, oi snakey he needs to be warmed up. Oh, right that’s why you have me under here, well why didn’t you just say so in the first place? No, no, don’t bother hissing at me I most certainly am not either Harry Potter or Voldemort, I can’t understand you. Ow, that was just rude. No need to hit me with your tail, do you know how big you are? I’m not fat shaming or anything here, but you are bloody huge and that tail packs quiet a wallop. 

So now that we are sharing a bed and all I feel like I should tell you, my name. Cause this is no skanky scene but a good dose of hurt/comfort and its only polite and all that, especially since suit lady let it slip what both of your names are. So nice to meet you Peter, Karen and Jör I’m Wade, Wade Wilson. This way we all know each other’s secret identity, although I don’t know if suits and snakes have secret identities, but if they did well then now, we are all in the know. 

Whoa, whoa, snakey, what are you doing slithering up on the bed? You will crush poor Baby Boy here. What, why are you shaking your head, Baby Boy? Holy fuck ton that’s a hell of a grip you have on you, I’m not sure why you thought it was necessary to show me unless it to say you have super strength along with your healing? Yes? Yes, ok. I guess you guys know what you are doing and wow actually that’s kinda nice with Snakey on top of us it feels like one of those super expensive weighted blankets and except this one moves and wow now I am so going to get one of those blankets cause really people should have said before just how nice this is and yeah I can see why they sell cause damm this is how I want to sleep from now onwards.... Mhmhmhmmdmmfmmmfmdm,”

Deadpool’s running cometary was muffled by Jör slapping the end of his tail across his mouth. He would have complained about how rude that was, but the Snake started purring, Baby Boy joining in a moment later. And god, the feeling of being wrapped up tight and shared purring left him speechless. 

Deadpool hadn’t been part of a pack in who knows how long. Probably the military was the last time. And the war pack were always rather cold and weak, allowing people to break from them easily enough. So, it had been quite some time; he had a hell of a dry streak and now to be dosed in the warmth and healing of pack members purring? Hell, yeah, Deadpool could shut up for that. 

A deep base purr joined in on the two trebles blending and melding into a harmonise sound that had Deadpool completely relaxing. To the stage that it took quite some time before he realised the base purr was coming from him. He was frankly surprised he even knew how to purr any longer, let along produce something that was helping to heal Baby Boy. Which it was. Deadpool could see the burns on his face decreasing quicker than what they had done before. Holy fuck he did not know he could do that but yes let’s hear it for the home team. The purrs rose and dropped in pitch in a soothing rhythm until all three of them drifted off to sleep.

* * *

“Peter is too young to say thank you, but I’m not.” Jör said, Deadpool having watched him turn from the giant snake to the Goth boy. 

<I can say thank you!> Peter signed muzzily from the bed. 

“Not the way Sleip says it,” 

Wade watched as Peter’s entire head turned red. <Oh yeah, um you're right, I’m way too young to say thank you.>

“Huh?” Deadpool was confused. Jör took him by the hand and led him into the next room, then grinning darkly, dropped to his knees. Placing his hands on Deadpool’s belt he looked up through his lashes 

“Peter, is very, very important to me. And I would like to say thank you for looking after him while I wasn’t around.” Jör lay his head on Deadpool’s upper thigh and huskily continued. “So can I thank you?” 

“Um, yes?” Deadpool squeaked out. Holy fucking chimichangas, if this was what he got for doing a good deed, sign him up to the sainthood. St Deadpool, here we come! 

Afterwards a blissed out Deadpool and a smug Jör made their way back to the bedroom. Jör swooped down and picked up Baby boy carrying him in his arms. 

<Wait,>

Baby Boy held out a hand and Deadpool obediently came closer. The teen then reached up and placed a chase kiss on Deadpool’s mask. Eyes lowered and ears turning red, he shyly signed <Thank you.>

“Awwww, your welcome Baby boy.” Deadpool gushed. He didn’t feel the slightest hint of sexual attraction for the younger teen. Yeah, he had eyes he wasn’t blind so of course he could see how cute Baby Boy was. But it was the same sort of cuteness he felt for puppies. his fucked-up brain had at least got this right and place him firmly in the child section. 

“You guys are so perfect for each other,” He told the pair. “I totally ship you now.” Jör rolled his eyes and turned and left, Peter waving goodbye before they disappeared outside the door. 

Wade sighed. He was going to remember this for as long as he could. There was living proof there were still decent people and hope in the universe. And Wade, well, he knew he was going to be in for a shitting run for it in the next couple of years. He had blown all his good luck on meeting the pair. Still, it was worth every second of crap fate was going to dump on him. 

**THE END**. 

P.S

Peter was back in his den, tucked into bed after every single member had their chance to fuss over him and exclaim over his injuries. Loki was working on a protection amulet for him the wear when he went patrolling. And Dad Tony was locked in his workshop updating Karen and his suit. It had taken him some time to get there as he hadn’t let Peter out of his arms for the first thirty minutes. Dad Solda’t on the other hand after singing to him in Russian, was now busily adjusting his training to include what to do when you were injured. 

Peter loved his pack, he really did, but he was glad they had all left him alone when Jör had said he needed his rest. It wasn’t really that much of a lie; his legs were healed but weak, and his face was down to painful sunburn as opposed to flesh-eating acid. Still Peter had meekly gone to bed, happy to snuggle up with his mate. 

Jör was running his hand through his hair, and the soothing sensation was slowly making Peter drift off. 

“So I realised something,” Jör said casually 

<Ok, what is it?> Peter lazily asked back. 

“We should make Wade our Permanente Mate.” 

<Wait, what?>

**Author's Note:**

> Jör: hmmm here is a stranger who is a survivor going by the scars coving his skin. Who is kind to his nephews when others are turned away by their appearance. Goes to the effort to speak to Jör’s mate in his own language, even when he is informed, he doesn’t have to. Is happy to tease Jör and is not put off by his stare. 
> 
> Next time Jör see the stranger he is wearing an impressive amount of weaponry and moves like a predator, like the rest of his pack does. Here is a man who knows how to handle himself. And he had rescued Peter and is helping him. Not trying to take advantage or sell Peters secrets. Has a fairly mild reaction to Jör in his true form, then willing gets into bed with all three of them, and adds his purr to help Peter heal. Ends off the night with Jör having a rather enjoyable time “thanking him.” 
> 
> He fits all the requirements. 
> 
> “We should add him into our mateship.” 
> 
> Peter: 
> 
> “.......?????”


End file.
